i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
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You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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