uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
