I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
