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There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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