My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
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Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.