super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
