but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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