I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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