i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
