Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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