So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
