You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Oh god it's open bar.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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