Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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