She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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