can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
