you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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