Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
