he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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