My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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