90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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