She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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