those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize