He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
