It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
