There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
