i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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