why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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