So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
be right there i have to get my cape
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
