Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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