it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
