Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
