what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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