What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
