I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
