Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Randomize
