Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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