Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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