i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
