absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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