Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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