Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
