1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
