You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
