How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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