I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
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Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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