Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize