Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
