My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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