@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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