I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize