you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
