I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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