How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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