I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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