I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
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She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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