I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
