just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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