I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
