you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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