I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
