if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
